Katie Holmes pushes out Tom Cruises baby

I was working on a brand spanking new Unnamed Segment, when all of a sudden the alarms and red lights started flashing in the WWJ news room. Theres some breaking news bitches!!!




Congrats are in order as earlier today Katie Holmes gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that one day will help lead the alien invasion to enslave the human race. Tom Cruise knowing the destiny of his alien love child has named her Suri, which means princess in Hebrew.

WWJ got the first exclusive photo of the next ruler of earth. ALL PRAISE SURI CRUISE!!


I am not sure if Tom was there for the birth or if he was off promoting MI3. Hopefully if he wasnt there someone had some Tupperware to put the placenta and umbilca cord in, so he could have a late night snack. Yes it seems Tom is planning on eating the placenta according to his interview in GQ.

"I'm gonna eat the placenta, too. I thought that would be good. Very nutrious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there"

Now I know some animals do this, but I dont think I have ever heard of a civilized human in the 20th Century doing this. Hell even those people from the film Alive had more morals then to eat a freaking placenta. I need to watch the South Park episode on Scientology again, because maybe I missed that little fact.

Who knows maybe fresh placenta tastes great with some fava beans and a nice chianti


If you actualy care about some of the birth details you can click here to go to MSN's report on the birth. A full Unnamed Segment, which thanks to this birth will have to be editied now, is on tap for later this week plus some HBOTD's.

as always send hate mail to jimmy@ThePlacentasFavaBeansChiantiAllYouCanEatBuffett.com

peace love and hair grease