Samuel L Jackson Punks WWJ

Pretty much everyone but me had today off from work. So after a restless night and a shitty day at work, I was determined to come home and take a nice long nap. I turned on the TV and hit play on the DVD player and started to drift off to the sounds of Family Guy. As I laid there waiting to be whisked off to my dream of Jessica Alba, dressed in her Sin City outfit, giving me a lap dance, I rolled over and felt something on my foot. Half awake, I raised my head up and my blurry vision made out the black belt I wore last night. I gave the belt a little kick to move it out of my way, but instead of moving in the direction I kicked it, the belt went the opposite way crossing over my foot. It was at this point I completely woke up and as my belt moved toward my head, I realized I never wore a belt last night and I sure as hell didn’t grab one from my closet and throw it on my bed. No it turns out there was a MOTHER FUCKING SNAKE IN MY BED!?!? Now unlike my mother, who freaks out if she sees a snake on TV, I am not scared of snakes. However it seems when you don’t have an axe or a shovel in your hands and a snake is in your bed, you turn into the biggest pussy in the world. The snake slithered off my bed and went under it and I will be damned if I am sticking my head under there to try and find it. I am not sure how the hell a snake got in my house, let alone in my bed. My theory is that Samuel L Jackson read something I wrote about his movie Snakes On A Mother Fucking Plane and decided he would show that skinny cracker a lesson. Well congrats Sam, you got me, now come get this fucking snake out of my room and help me wash my piss covered sheets.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@SnakesOnMyMotherFuckingBed.net

Peace love and hair grease

Thanks to WWJ's Internet Gansta, Tim, for sending this to me after I told him what happend.