WWJ's Hot Bitch of The Day: 2005 HBOTD All Stars

This post should have been done in December along with every other “Best of 2005”, but thanks to Modblog sucking more ass then Clay Aiken and me being lazy, it took till mid February to finally get it finished. So here is your 2005 WWJ Hot Bitch of The Day All Stars.

10. Kelly Clarkson

The only American Idol winner worth a damn had a big year. You couldn’t get away from her songs and unlike that fucking Bananas song from Gwen Stefani, Kelly’s songs were actually decent. Kelly has lost a lot of the weight she had on American Idol and has moved out of the chubby girl you’d bang if you were drunk category and into the yeah Id hit that category. She is not the hottest and she still has some baby fat, but another year in the gym and some breast implants and you will be begging to knock the bottom out of it.
Best Feature – hazel eyes

9. Keeley Hazell

She is really higher on my list, but not many people here in the states know of this bombshell. Keeley is one of many big breasted girls that graces the pages of the UK’s FHM and Maxims. What makes her stand out besides her natural 32E is unlike the other hot girls the UK is pumping out she doesn’t look like a complete whore. You could take this girl home and your Mom would approve until your Dad gave her an extremely long hug.
Best Feature – her 32E personality

8. Jennifer Wilbanks AKA The Runaway Bride

Ok so she isn’t hot, she has those psycho peepers and the bitch is just plain crazy, but there are a couple things that land her on the list. She got a lot of money from her TV and book deals, has a decent fake rack and she likes to travel. Remember she made up the story about being forced into a threesome with a Mexican and a white girl. Now this means deep down she is a freak in the bed and would be willing to do anything. Maybe I am weird but the multicolor towel over her face is a turn on and also very handy. You’ll never have to worry about fumbling in the dark for a quick clean up again.
Best Feature – Towel covering her psycho peepers

Honorable mention goes to another news diva of 2005 Terri Schivao cause who doesnt love a loud moaner

7. Lois Griffin

One of the biggest comebacks of the year was that of Family Guy, so I have no choice but to include Lois Griffin in the list. She may be animated, but you can’t say you haven’t thought about it at least once. Granted her voice could kill an erection powered by a bottle of Viagra, but we know from the show that she is a complete freak and we here at WWJ admire that quality in a woman. Plus she is married to a fat man, which means she has low standards and would be easy to land. She is no Ariel or Jessica Rabbit but this red head MILF will make you want to eat some red carpet.
Best Feature – Low standards

6. Jessica Simpson

Her role as Daisy Duke helped make a whole new generation of adolescent boys achieve their first awkward moment. Despite being one of the worst songs of the year, the video for These Boots Were Made for Walkin actually made the song sound good. The once proud virgin transformed into one of Hollywood’s biggest sluts in 2005. Rumors of her divorce and her romps with the cast of Jackass dominated magazine covers for months. She is now single and out to make up for lost time by banging any D list star she comes across. I never thought I had a chance with Jessica Simpson until she started screwing WWJ look a like and Maroon 5 front man, Adam Levine. I can now die a happy man knowing that I had a chance to donkey punch Jessica Simpson.
Best Feature – Daisy Dukes

5. Jennifer Anniston

Despite not doing anything worth remembering since the end of Friends, Jennifer is somehow still one of the top stars in Hollywood. She made headlines when Brad Pitt dumped her ass for Angelina Jolie and showed up on a million web sites when her unflattering topless sunbathing pictures made their second go round. She is on the rebound and has extremely low standards. This is evident from her new boyfriend insomniac Vince Vaughn. So why the hell did I even put her on the list and this high? The only reason was her headlights. Obviously the set of Friends was extremely cold as she was always running around with her high beams on. Ever since I first noticed her pokies I have been under their spell even after seeing the topless photos.
Best Feature – Always leaving her headlights on

4. Lisa from Team America

Lisa is the blonde bombshell that took a Dirty Sanchez in the years best sex scene. Sure she looks similar to a blow up doll and is only about a foot tall, but after a couple drinks I am sure it would be just like that midget I hooked up with in 98. Plus all the strings that make her move can easily be used to tie her up if you’re into that kind of thing.
Best Feature – Into Donkey Punching and Dirty Sanchez

3. Anne Hathaway

. Anne Hathaway the innocent looking actress from the Princess Diaries stepped away from her goody girl image to appear topless in not one but two movies last year. I got a copy of Havoc the day it came out, but even a topless Anne getting rear ended isn’t enough to lure me to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am just stoked I no longer have to steal my 6 year old cousins copy of The Princess Diaries to rub one off. Thank you Barbara Kopple for casting lil miss Anne in Havoc.
Best Feature - Inner Slut

2. Jessica Alba
The sexy Latina had one of the best years in Hollywood. Her and her bikini saved the horrid film Into The Blue from being a straight to the bargain bin DVD to a number one movie. Now that Into the Blue is on DVD I can finally give my copy of Honey a rest. She also recently became the front runner in the 2006 WWJ Cock Tease of the Year Award by appearing on the cover of Playboy, but not posing nude.
Best Feature – Da Budunkadunk

1. Angelina Jolie
The husband stealing, world saving, foreign kid adopting temptress is the undisputed 2005 WWJ Hot Bitch of the Year. Besides having the best set of DSLs in Hollywood, Angelina also has the world’s most powerful vagina. She used it to lure Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Anniston. She is quite possible the most desired person in the world, as even the ladies want to get a hold of her according to some polls. Her vagina is so powerful that she could turn most gay man straight. So congrats to you and your powerful vagina Angelina. Hope you finally giving birth to your own kid doesn’t make it lose its power.
Best Feature – DSLs