HBOTD - Hanna Hilton The Next Jenna Jameson?

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Well while I was down and out, one of my favorite innocent big breasted nude internet models, went and filmed a hardcore scene. Yes, Hanna Hilton is no longer an innocent angel, as she filmed her first hardcore scene for one of those pay sites, which I won’t give free publicity to, since they don’t even have an embedded preview player that I could post up, so you could get a taste of her acting skills. Well since I first posted up pics of Hanna way back when nobody knew who the hell she was, she has gone on to become one of the most requested and viewed on this site, an internet nude superstar, a Penthouse Pet of the Month, has started her own web site, has shot her first hardcore scene and recently signed a deal with Vivid. Her first movie will come out this summer and since my campaign to hear from her never worked out, I think I should at least get a free signed copy of the dvd. I kind of feel like a proud father, never mind the fact that I would kill to have a round of naked twister with her, but Atlanta isn’t too far from Alabama, so I guess that’s ok and I shouldn’t feel weird. If you know anything about torrents, you shouldn’t have any problem finding the full scene in HD, but just in case you dont here are some screen caps from the scene along with a link to the old posts. Because I am glad she got a contract and think she will continue to become a huge star, don’t forget to go join her website for a ton of exclusive content and go pick up Meggan and Hanna Love Manuel when it drops this summer.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@HardcoreHannaMakesMeHappyInPants.net

Peace love and hair grease

To see Hanna go hardcore, just click on the pic below and just in case your a dumbass that link and the ones above are all NSFW.

HBOTD - Those Sacramento Kings Dance Team Pictures

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Sometimes you guys surprise me with what you request and today is one of those days. A couple weeks ago, I started getting requests for the party girls of the Sacramento Kings Dance Team. I didn’t think the pictures were worth posting, because there was nothing racy or surprising about them. However the media made it out like the pictures were of a big lesbian orgy complete with dildos and strap ons. The pictures were tame enough to show on the news and were rather boring, but I kept getting requests. How is it surprising that a bunch of 20 something year old girls that dance for a living or any 20 something for that matter, had pictures like these on their Myspace or Facebook. Lets face it, girls on “Dance Teams” are only one high cell phone bill away from being strippers, so why the Kings would be upset over these pics makes no sense.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@LesbianOrgy.net

Peace love and hair grease


These pics are tame, but since somebody will complain you will have to click on the pic below to see them.

HBOTD - Get Naked Win An Academy Award

Flip, flop, and serve them like flapjacks, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I had a long ass day at school, but I figured I would throw up one more post. I didn’t watch that snooze fest on Sunday, but two of the winners this year have been known to show a lil skin and that’s worth doing a post about. The chick that was the screen writer for a movie about a pregnant teen used to be, wait for it…..a stripper. Though she is not the typical silicone blonde stripper that you see dancing to put herself through “college” She has the whole Suicide Girl thing going for her and with a name like Diablo Cody, she can always become a masked Mexican wrestler if the whole screen writing and stripping thing doesn’t work out. The other naked Oscar winner is some chick that I have never heard of. Marion Cotillard picked up Best Actress for some movie I never heard of. I am just guessing, but by the looks of her razor skills, Marion is from France. That means she probably smokes 4 packs a day, likes to eat croissants and snails, often wears a silly looking beret, doesn’t use deodorant, smells bad and hates America, but what do you care if all that was true, she is naked in these videos.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@RazorSkills.net

Peace love and hair grease


The Nude Oscars are NSFW so you need to click on the pic below to see the videos and pictures of this years winners.

HBOTD - Jessica Alba Oscar Horror

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Well the Oscars were tonight and a bunch of films and people I have never heard of won a statue of a naked gold man. Is it any wonder why women and gay men love this shit. Out of all the movies nominated, I only saw Juno and since I knew it wasn’t going to win any awards and because I like boobs, I didn’t watch what I am sure was as exciting as a documentary on quilts. Well since it was all about the movies tonight, I figured I would finally throw up these pictures of Jessica Alba recreating some horror flicks. These pictures are from Latina magazine, which is surprisingly printed in English and only five months late on doing something for Halloween. I guess they are like the Taco Bell of the Latin magazine community. Well she may be knocked up, engaged and fully clothed in these pics, but it is still Jessica Alba and worth a post. I really think her fiancée is a tard, because she wouldn’t have had to poke a hole in my condom to get me to purpose. Even if she is a mega bitch, has bad breath or is a dead lay, she is Jessica fuckin Alba.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@MegaBitch.net

Peace love and hair grease

HBOTD - Kate Beckinsale Has Freezer Door Nipples

Still flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Im taking a quick break from a paper so no time for chit chat bitches. Enjoy these new pictures of my favorite MILF Kate Beckinsale, one of which is a great opening the freezer door nipple shot.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@FreezerNipples.net

Peace love and hair grease



an theres your freezer nipples

HBOTD - Lohan Channels Nude Monroe

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. It’s Presidents Day and what better way to celebrate then with pictures of Lindsay Lohan channeling everyone’s favorite President fucker, Marylin Monroe. I have to say that rehab does a body good, as Lohan is back to the hot freckled body that we all know an love. Granted I have been laid up for awhile cause of the stroke and on a drought that would make the Sierra Dessert look like a water park, but Id be more then happy to play connect the dots with Lohans freckles. Luckily for us Britney Spears is to crazy to know it’s Presidents Day or we would have ended up with a fat chick in a stained blue dress holding a cigar and chowing down on some Twinkies and HoHos. Well since her movies haven’t been doing to well, perhaps we will be seeing more pictures like this of Lohan. So what you guys think, is Lohan back or just desperate?

As always send hate mail to jimmy@ConectTheDots.net

Peace love and hair grease

Since freckled fun bags are NSFW, you need to click on the picture below if you want to see them.

HBOTD - Olivia Munn in Complex

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to see some non nude pics of a chick, but Olivia Munn is no ordinary chick. I used to watch her everyday when I got home from class, her great looks and yes her personality, quickly moved her into my top ten list. Sadly I have been on withdraws though, because my cable company sucks donkey balls and I no longer get G4. Besides taking away my daily Olivia fix, they also took away VS., so I can no longer watch NHL, WEC or Tap Out, which makes me a sad panda. So, these pictures of Olivia recreating some classic movie scenes is like an early birthday present for me. What other movies do you think they should have done? I think they should have got her back in the Princess Leia Slave outfit she wore last year. I will try to knock out some of the many requests this week, just be patient as I am still trying to get back into the swing of things.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@SadPanda.net

Peace love and hair grease

These pics are pretty tame and should be SFW, but since someone will be a lil bitch and complain that I put them on the main page, you need to click on the pic below to see Olivia do the movie costume thing.

HBOTD - Keeley Hazell The Topless Calender

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. The last time I posted up a HBOTD, I was pissed that Keeley Hazell who is known for showing off her amazing 32 E’s would put out a nipple free calendar. Well thankfully another calendar came out and this pitcher of Koolaid isn’t missing any sugar. Its good to be back and thanks for all the get well wishes, now enjoy the uncovered memories bitches!

As always send hate mail to jimmy@SugarTits.net

Peace love and hair grease


Well since this calendar shows a tad more skin then lingerie section of the JC Penney's catalog, that makes it NSFW and you will have to click on the picture below to see the sugar tits.

HBOTD - Keeley Hazell To Keep You Company In 2008

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I cant even remember the last time I posted pics of my British obsession, Miss Keeley Hazell, but her 2008 calendar is out, so Welcome Back Keeley. She looks great in the pics, but the calendar pisses me the fuck off. When you are known for being a TOPLESS model, what is the point of putting out a calendar that doesn’t show off those amazing natural 32 E’s. Not showing off her fun bags is like making Koolaid without any sugar or drinking nonalcoholic, it’s fucking pointless. Honestly you could see more skin in this year’s JC Penny’s catalogue, but since the request will flood in for these pics, here they are. Enjoy bitches and see if you can spot the areolas.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@SugarTits.net

Peace love and hair grease

The pics are pretty tame, but since someone will complain, you need to click on the pic below to see them.

HBOTD - Kim Kardashian By Request

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Im back bitches! It’s been a long day of college football and since I am pissed that UT beat UK and kept my UGA Bulldawgs out of the SEC Championship game, this is going to be short an sweet. Here is the oddly much requested Kim Kardashian spread. If you don’t know who she is, here is a quick wrap up as seen through the eyes of WWJ. Her dad was one of OJ’s lawyers and she got famous for partying with Paris Hilton and then taking Paris’ lead and using her Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset which “accidentally” got leaked onto the internets. Don’t worry if you haven’t seen it, cause I have seen Civil War documentaries sexier then that waste of $29.95. Now she has her own reality show on E! proving that no matter how little talent you possess you can still make it in Hollywood. I so hope that I get a Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset for Christmas, because I am ready for my own show too!!

As always send hate mail to jimmy@StupidSpoiledWhoreVideoPlayset.net

Peace love and hair grease

To see Kim's huge J Lo like ass, you need to click on the pic below. That link would be NSFW, so if you dont like your job and careless about getting fired then click away bitch!

HBOTD - Angelina Jolie Nude In Beowulf

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Ok I am a little behind on all the requests, so I figured I would start with one of the ones I have got a lot lately. I am really not sure why everyone is excited about Angelina Jolie being naked in the upcoming movie Beowulf. First of its not even her, it’s a CGI creation of what some guy thinks she looks like in the buff. Secondly, the movie is PG-13, which means this nude scene is pretty tame. Now, granted if it was a CGI version of her in some hardcore lesbian action, I would be first in line to see those DSL’s working their way around some other hot CGI bitch’s tuna town. Well since the movie is not even out yet, here are some stills from the trailer.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@TunaTown.net

Peace love and hair grease


These pictures are tame, but because someone will bitch at me for putting them on the main page, you will have to click on the link picture below.

HBOTD - Link Thingy Halloween Wrap Up

Hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween. Heres a quick Halloween themed HBOTD Link Thingy for those of you that didnt get to go out and see all the slutty dressed chicks. All links would be NSFW there numb nuts.

as always send hate mail to jimmy@InsertSomethingCleverHere.net

HBOTD - Jodie Marsh As A Construcion Worker

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween. I love Halloween, because it’s the one time of the year that all girls slut it up. Yes even that sweet innocent girl in the office or in your class will slut it up. Then you have the sluty girl that sluts it up to past stripper levels. Halloween just seems to bring out all girls inner slut and it is a beautiful thing my friend. Then comes the part of Halloween that I hate, wearing a fucking costume!! The Jew in me doesn’t want to spend the money on a costume I am only going to wear once, but the kid in me knows the only way I will bag a Rainbow Brite or a Sexy Nurse, is if I wear a costume. I don’t care who you are or what your costume is, dudes look like total douche bags in Halloween costumes. Guys don’t have the luxury of slutting up like the gals, well gay guys can, but a straight guy can not go as a Sexy Doctor. No, we have to deal with goofy ass costumes that actually hurt our chances of going home with the slutty Strawbery Shortcake. I say fuck it, don’t buy a costume, just go out in what you’d normally wear. You will be the only one not looking like a total tool and thus increasing your chances for the night. Now just find the girl dressed up in the outfit that you always asked your ex to wear for you, but the bitch would never wear, not even for your damn birthday. Good luck on your Tricks and Treats expedition!! Here is the first of several Halloween themed HBOTD posts to come, British model Jodie Marsh slutting it up as the construction worker from the Village People. As an added bonus here is a great classic web video about Sexy costumes.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@TricksAndTreats.net

Peace love and hair grease












THE END

HBOTD - Bary Bonds Mistress Kimberly Bell

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I am kind of surprised at the amount of requests I have had for today’s HBOTD. I guess since it’s sorta newsworthy, people are curious. So kids, here is what taking steroids and cheating gets you, a homerun record* and a buttaface (that a ton of airbrush couldn’t even help) on the side for those road games away from the wife. So fuck training your ass off kids, drop your pants and stick that needle in your ass and you can be the next Bonds. Ok I am not going to go on another I hate Barry Bonds rant, cause I actually feel sorry for him now. Sure this girl has a great body, but I am not mega rich and famous and I can pull better trim then this on an off day. On a side note, I haven’t mentioned it on here yet, mainly due to some legal issues, but I got a job at the beginning of the semester and if all goes well this week, my first podcast should be hitting the web next week. More details about all that later, for now just enjoy the past two weeks most requested bitch.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@NoPepperGames.net

Peace love and hair grease


Ok kids here is your Surgeon General warning, steroid filled boobies are NSFW, so you will have to click on the picture below.

HBOTD Link Thingy 10-06-07

A real quick HBOTD Link Thingy to hold you over till the next post. Enjoy bitches. Oh and for those of you that are window lickers, those links would be NSFW.

as always send hate mail to jimmy@InsertSomethingCleverHere.net

peace love and hair grease

VOD - Eva Longoria Sex Tape

Time for another WWJ approved Video of the Day. The last couple weeks has seen a ton of rumors about celebrity sex tapes. There was the fake Meg White video, which no one really cared about even if it was real. There have been talks of an Elisha Cuthbert tape, which if is true we will sadly never get to see. Then there is the talks of yet another Britney Spears tape, which if the guy who banged her can get over the embarrassment of putting his dick inside a beached whale, will soon be one rich whale fucker and the video will be all over the nets. Yes sadly people actually want to see that, but I am scared it will give me nightmares. I want to say there was also talks of some other celeb having a tape floating out there, but I am still brain dead from this week and cant remember. Finally there were strong rumors of an Eva Longoria sex tape, which everyone would love to see. Well turns out it the rumors were real, sort of. Yes leave it to Will Ferrell and the rest of the guys over at Funny or Die, to cause a commotion on the net again. So here is the Eva Longoria sex tape with Eric Christian Olsen. Hope that clears up all the emails I have been getting about posting these sex tapes. Also I thought to make up for the lack of a real sex tape that I would throw in these old FHM, but still great pics from FHM. Enjoy bitches.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@DesperateFanBoys.net

Peace love and hair grease

HBOTD - Eva Mendes See Thru From Italian GQ

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I just had the week from hell and while I was trying to drown my sorrows last night, the conversation turned to Latina hottie Eva Mendes. She has a new movie coming out with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and the trailer reminds me of a weak version of The Departed. I am pretty sure it is rated R, which means she is most likely naked in it and that alone is worth the price of a tix. So the discussion last night reminded me that I had been hanging onto these see thru pictures of her. I had hoped to find some better quality ones, but for some reason they still haven’t made their way online. If the high quality ones ever show up, I will post them up, but for now you will just have to deal with these. I will knock out some requests this weekend, so you don’t have to keep emailing me about Vanessa Hudgens new scandalous pictures or the Eva Longoria sex tape.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@NothingToDoButDrink.net

Peace love and hair grease

Granted Eva is wearing clothes in these pictures, but since you can plainly see those dark nips that probably makes it NSFW, so just click on the pic below to see the goods.

HBOTD - Lucy Pinder Steps In The Ring

Flip, flop and flap it’s another WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I wasnt planning on posting these bad scans of Lucy Pinder’s most recent spread in Nuts, but I have gotten a couple of request for them and figured I would throw them up to stop the emails. You may recall that Lucy was notorious for always covering up her huge breasts, many figured it was because she had a third nipple or just Fed up National Geographic nipples. Well she quit covering them up and turns out the only thing that was wrong with them was that they weren’t in my mouth. My guess is she covered them up to drive up the price for her to go topless, see not all big titty girls are dumb. Ok back to studying for yet another fucking test, enjoy the pics bitches.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@NationalGeographicNipples.net

Peace love and hair grease


To see what Lucy has been hiding, you need to click on the picture below, because nips are NSFW.

The 2007 VMA's and a HBOTD Link Thingy

For some reason I have been watching the train wreck that is the VMA’s. In case you missed it, Britney Spears “come back” is over!! The stoned strippers at my local strip club, dance and look better then she did. The idea of having all the performers in other rooms and clubs, has to be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen. Only getting to see a minute of some great performances was a bigger cock tease then that time I hooked up with a chick that had taken a vow of celibacy. The show is still going on and so far there has only been one great performance shown and that was of Chris Brown. I still don’t know how a channel that doesn’t play music videos can legally have an award show for music videos. So while I continue to suffer through this piece of a shit awards show, I thought I would throw up a quick HBOTD Link Thingy.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@NothingBetterToDo.net

Peace love and hair grease

All links are NSFW, so if your at work that means dont click it bitch!

HBOTD - Return of Hannah Hilton

Still flipping, flopping and fapping, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. It’s been awhile since I did a post on Hannah Hilton, but that doesn’t mean we still don’t love her here at WWJ. No, despite having our perverted heart broken by those enormous fun bags during Hannah Hilton Week (still haven’t heard from her), she is still one of my favorites and according to the stats and requests, all you pervs like her too. Well she has cut her hair and even though I am not big on girls with short hair, she is still hot and naked, so no complaints here.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@FunBags.net

Peace love and hair grease


For some reason, fun bags are NSFW, so you need to click on the picture below to see them.

HBOTD - Hayden Panettiere as St. Paulie's Beer Maid

Flippity flop, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. I figured I would take a break from being a nerd and studying in the library to post up a couple pictures. Basically I didn’t want to get home today to a ton of requests for these pictures of Heroes star Hayden Panettiere dressed up as the St. Paulies girl. In case you didn’t know, everyone’s favorite barely legal cheerleader fantasy is over in Europe with the rest of the cast to promote the soon to be released DVD (which I have had for a month and is well worth buying if you liked the show) and the upcoming second season. Here are pictures from one of their stops in Germany. Sorry they are not better quality, but I will update it when better ones become available. From all the pics I have seen of this trip, she seems to be pretty cozy with Milo, wonder if he is getting her drunk over there and tapping it. Oh, save the emails on her recent European nip slip, it is a horrid shot and not worth posting. Im going back to reading this boring media law book, then heading to the studio for a bit, but I plan to throw up another HBOTD later tonite.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@BarleyLegalCheerleaders.net

Peace love and hair grease

He is tapping that ass...



Or at least wanting to tap that

HBOTD Link Thingy 9-3-07

Some quick links to hold you over, until the next HBOTD.

as always send hate mail to jimmy@BeingLazy.net

peace love and hair grease

In case your inbred or just plain stupid, these links are NSFW.

HBOTD - Keeley Hazell Does Breakfast at Tiffany's

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of The Day. I am still recovering from a very long alcohol filled night out, so it is straight to the pictures today. It’s the return of long time WWJ favorite, Keeley Hazell. Hopefully this will take care of all the requests I been getting for her.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@Hungover.net

Peace love and hair grease


Keeley shows her cans so that makes the pictures NSFW, so just click on the picture below.

HBOTD - Hayden Panettiere Turns 18 Does FHM

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. Sorry for the lack of updates, but school started back for me this week and my time at home has been very limited. I have a ton of school work to do tonight and a super busy weekend, so here is the short version, this post was due to an old request from WWJ’ Sr. Executive Photographer Ray. Now that Heroes star Hayden Panettiere is legal, hopefully you won’t feel like a dirty old man when you look at these pictures or watch the show. I tired to post these pictures from FHM last night, but my net went out, so I decided to throw in some more pictures of Hayden for all you pervs. I will try to knock out a HBOTD Link Thingy along with another HBOTD request later this weekend.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@BangTheCheerleaderSaveTheWorld.net

Peace love and hair grease

FHM from the UK









The first dirty old man to make his move on the newly legal star


My gift to her, a birthday facial





She likes to lick things...nice
















Bite it like a monkey








Some see thru action








Dirty Sanchez...





For all you Fan Boys


No tix for parking there now


Topless...well sorta



Realllly



Stop looking at me you dirty old man


The End

HBOTD - Ashley Tisdale Bikini Musical & Jennifer Love Hewitt Sex Tape

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. So High School Musical 2 premiers tonight and I know all of you are counting down the minutes. I never saw the first one and other then the title of the movie, I don’t know a damn thing about it. Even though this chick is kind of hot, I think the film is like a modern day Grease and there is no way you will catch me watching that gayfest. I have blocked Disney, Nickeloden, Lifetime, all the Christian channels and any other channel that doesn’t broadcast programs containing cursing, explosions and half naked women. But for all you perverted parents and older siblings that constantly have to suffer through the movie and the music, I figured I would post up some pictures of the chick from the films. Although she plays a High School student, I am pretty sure she is legal, but I have never been good at math, so I may be wrong. Hope this helps you pervs that will have their TV hijacked tonight.

On a side note, before the emails pile up, the Jennifer Love Hewitt Sex Tape is a fake, so I will not be doing a post on it. However if you still want to listen to crappy techno music and see some big titty girl with J Love's face super imposed masturbating, then just click on this link HERE.Enter the code and select free download and yes that would be NSFW

As always send hate mail to jimmy@Flapjacks.net

Peace love and hair grease

To see High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale rocking the bikini, just click on the picture below. I dont think it is NSFW, but your boss could be a dick and then you should probably wait till you get home.

VOD - Women's Dictionary From HotForWords

Time for another WWJ approved Video of the Day and sorta a HBOTD sans pictures. I am still trying to recover from my first day back at school, as all the new fresh fish gave my ass whiplash. In the back to school spirit, I thought I would post this video of YouTube sensation hotforwords posing in everyone’s favorite outfit, the Slutty Catholic School Girl. I am not really sure what these videos staring “Marina” the philologist are about, as I can’t get past this hotties accent. It’s like she was pulled straight out of my dreams, the ones where I am a secret agent and travel around the world banging hot KGB spies while saving the world from nuclear annihilation. Sadly, the website doesn’t have any of the pictures used in the videos and my search for info or pictures of her was a waste of time. If someone out there knows more about her or can find pictures, email me ASAP.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@InternationalManOfMystery.net

Peace love and hair grease

HBOTD - Back To School With Nikki Cox

Flipping, flopping and serving hoes like flapjacks for over 40 years, it’s the WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day. School is about to start back up for me, so I figured I would do a post to get me ready for the upcoming semester. I thought about posting some pictures of a girl in a Catholic school girl outfit, but since girls in college only wear that on Halloween, I decided to go with some pictures of Nikki Cox playing the role of the hot teacher. Now granted my school is not filled with a bunch of hot professors that are in need of a good dicking, actually I have only seen one hot teacher and she always comes off like a stuck up bitch. However, the campus will be filled with a bunch of hot freshmen poon looking for acceptance, guidance and someone to buy their sweet underage asses some booze. For all you new and returning students, I want to offer you some valuable advice. First, make sure you stock up your fridge with some gay fruity alcoholic refreshments, because freshmen bitches love wine coolers. Flowers and jewelry may be the key to her heart, but wine coolers are the key to getting inside her cooch. Now you may run into a dry spell that no amount of wine coolers can help break. Hey it happens to the best of us, so don’t worry things will turn around, but until it does, porn is your friend. Just remember not to watch porn after your stoned ass ate a shit load of Doritos or Cheetos, because when your dry spell does end, it is going to be quite embarrassing explaining to the girl why you have an orange dick. Next, if your living in a dorm, go buy yourself some sandals to wear in the shower, because if do not wear some flops in the shower you will end up with some nasty fungus on your feet. Finally, I know your funds are limited, and rubbers are not cheap, but the health center sells them a hell of a lot cheaper then the gas station next to the frat house. Last thing you want is matching fungi on your feet and your nuts, because a shot of penicillin won’t clear up everything. Hope everyone has a great poon filled semester!

As always send hate mail to jimmy@FreshmenBitchesLoveWineCoolers.net

Peace love and hair grease