Video of the Day - Jessica Simpson Public Affair

Time for another WWJ approved Video of the Day. Jessica Simpson’s new video, Public Affair, made its world debut on TRL at 3:30 this afternoon and at 3:31 p.m. I was throwing an overused and very stiff towel in my hamper. I would suggest you turn down your speakers or you will end up like me with a pencil jammed in you ear. The song sounds like a leftover Madonna song from 1986. Papa Joe, being the pimp he is, realized it would take more then just whoring out his first born to help cover up the shittyness of the song , so he enlisted some of Jessica’s hot Hollywood friends to be in the video. My favorite part of the video has to be the very sexually suggestive scene when Jessica wildly rubs an ice cream cone all over her face. With a technique like that, it’s no wonder why Johnny Knoxville shared her with the cast of Jackass.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@JessicasCreamedCoveredFace.net

Peace love and hair grease

Unnamed Segment 3-1-06 Tomkat split, Nick Lachey needs money, Sheryl Crow breast cancer

It’s finally time for the return of Hollywood’s red headed step child BITCHES!!! The Unnamed Segment is back and ready to rip Hollywood a new one. It has been way too long and I am sure the rust will be apparent, but with a can of WD40, some duck tape and the power of Greyskull by my side I HAVE THE POWER!!!! Cue the theme music!

Welcome back, Your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back, To that same old place that you laughed about. Well the names have all changed since you hung around, But those dreams have remained and they're turned around. Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya) Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya) Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've hot him on the spot, welcome back, Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

First off, thanks to everyone that came over from the old Modblog site and all the new peeps that have stopped by from where ever. I am still in shock at the numbers and am working to get the site looking better. I have added links for the Hot Bitch of the Day Archive and the 2006 WWJ Summer Drinking Tour, so look for the images on the sidebar. Any suggestions, comments or ideas you have for the site are always welcome, but I reserve the right to tell you that your idea is shit and that you can shove my ghetto designed page right up your ass.

WWJ and Sr Staff Photographer Ray are teaming up again!!So stay tuned. Ray is the bald one if you were wondering.


Tomkat is over. Despite the recent pictures from Australia and Tahiti of them once again awkwardly holding hands, the couple is done. Tom was in Australia and Katie was in the US with her strap on baby bump, when the news of the breakup hit the papers. Katie was immediately thrown on a plane, by a gang of Scientologists no doubt, and took the long flight. Being my gynecologist license isn’t official, maybe I am wrong when I assume that a woman that far along in a pregnancy shouldn’t be flying. I guess she isn’t carrying “The Chosen One” since the Alien Gang put her at risk, just to battle the break up stories and that Tom being gay thing. When a 5 million dollar contract and a fake pregnancy can’t keep a 44 year old closet case homo, that worships ET and has random couch jumping outbursts and a 28 year old herpes infected catholic school girl together, then I just give up on love.

We are so happy!! Isnt that right bitch?


In other break up news, Nick Lachey is going after Jessica Simpson’s money. I am guessing Papa Joe weaseled Nick out of all the Newlywed cash, so now he has to seek support from an air head to help support his big breasted hunger. Maybe now that his brother won Dancing with the Stars, Nick will have a bigger couch to crash on.

I heart Nick, Knoxville, Bam, Steve O, Adam Levine, Jude Law, WWJ.....

Lucky bastard was first to tap it and now will profit from it. Dont think anyone feels sorry for you Nick.


Nope my brains arent down there... hmm did I remember to put on my thong?





Wow this has to be a first. Look Jessica is keeping her legs together!!!


Despite Drew Lachey wining Dancing with the Stars, the real winner was former WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day Stacy Kiebler and the male population. Don’t expect Stacy to be going back to WWE. Wrestlemania will most likely be her last appearance in the WWE, as her contract is about up. Don’t worry you will get to see more of Miss LegsAndAss, since she has numerous film and TV offers. Sorry guys, she won’t be in Playboy anytime soon. The magazine has been after her for years and now with her new found popularity the chances of Playboy tempting her are as good as my chances of having an over the top battle royal with her in my king size bed. Don’t cry, another WWE Diva, Candice Michelle, will be gracing the cover and pages of Playboy next month. Candice is also scheduled to be the next WWJ Hot Bitch of the Day.

I would eat that like a fat kid eating a box of Keibler elf cookies





The Winter Olympics are over and so sadly are Norma Lee’s Olympic updates on The Regular Guy’s. I didn’t watch any of the games, but these radio segments were ah shit I will be corny and say it gold medal worthy. Maybe they will make their way on the net or on the next CD.

Even with a nip slip figure skating is still pretty gay

Avril closed out the Olympic ceremony so in the spirt of the Olympics here is her nip slip


Time to check in on America’s favorite trailer park couple, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Despite a million plus downloads in its first day on the net, Special K’s song PopaZoa has oddly not entered the Billboard charts or any radio stations play list. Maybe his next song with The Game will have better luck. Brit and her son recently took a trip to Hawaii, so her son could spend some quality time with his Guatemalan Nanny. While Brit was away, K Fed was seen getting cozy with another blonde on the streets of Hollywood. I always knew Brit had a brain the size of a cashew, but it dumbfounds me why she is still with Special K. Granted she has gotten fat and has the face of a 40 year old Waffle House waitress, but with all her money she could easily do better. I mean if that 90 year old that looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings can bag Anna Nicole Smith in her prime, I think Brit could land a decent looking guy who wouldn’t cheat on her.

I am not sure, but I think Brit was in Hawaii auditioning for Free Willy 3

Hey that blonde skank isnt Brit?!?! Special K would never break his vows would he?

OH this is too easy. Lets see.. $30 for a carton of smokes.. $14 on Cheetos and Red Bull 10 mill to support your wannabe thug husband.. being in your 20's and looking worse then your illegal imigrant nanny...priceless. Oh bite me its late if you can do better leave a comment.


ABC pissed me off last week, by cock teasing me with a new episode of Lost, to only play the first episode for the 80th time. The cast has been staying out of trouble since the last 2 DUI’s. I only mentioned Lost to have a reason to post these pictures of the hobbit loving Evangeline Lilly prancing around the beach in her bating suit. I am sure most girls would say her bathing suit is hideous and a fashion foul, but to a guy this bathing suit is straight out of the 2006 Fantasy Outfits You Wish Your Girlfriend Would Wear.

The girl isnt always hot, but damn that bottom piece is sexy

I dont really need a reason to post these as well








I am stoked to see Ultraviolet this Friday, but worry about it being a huge let down. One movie that even Kristen Dunst can’t ruin will be Spiderman 3. They are doing away with the red and blue suit and introducing the black and silver Venom suit, which means the introduction of the best villain in the Spiderman universe isn’t too far behind.





Despite the alleged tape being a fake, the Paris Hilton and Nicole Lenz lesbian sex tape is still big news. No, the following picture is not a photo shop cover for the sex tape. Paris, who has as much acting skill as my left nut, actually landed a staring role in a “real” movie.

Dont believe the rumors?? Just like the last tape that you denied huh?


Dumb luck or marketing genius


Sheryl Crow was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Sorry to disappoint you if you expected a tasteless joke there, as I am not even that big of an asshole to make jokes about someone getting breast cancer. It does make me wonder if this is why she broke of her engagement to Lane “one Nut” Armstrong. I had sex ed. several years ago, but I don’t recall my P.E. coach saying anything about cancer being sexually transmitted.



Just in case, here is one more look at them




Since I am still rusty that is all for this week. Hopefully the rust will be gone soon and the Unnamed Segment will be bright and shinny once again. Enjoy the rest of the pics.

As always send hate mail to jimmy@PopaZoaIsDaBombYo.net

Peace love and hair grease

I seriously doubt Christina needs any pointers


pretty hot Resse


Charlize looking hotter



Hmmm realllllly


Ughh girls are so stupid and they smell


Oh poopsey its the paparazzi...gots to think fast


They will never think Im gay now...AHH SICK she just put her tongue in my mouth



This picture looks much better when you take out the guy and mosquito bite boobs out of it



Damn there is a younger hotter sister. Thank you all mighty Latin Sex Gods for helpign make my dreams come true


Somebody still has some cat nip left over from the set of Catwoman




My Humps My Humps


Where is Child Services when you need them


Do you think WWJ will like these?


She may look like a young boy naked, but there is still something sexy about Keira, I am just not sure what it is other then having a vagina


Lindsay "Skeletor Version 2.0" Lohan is still way to skinny and I doubt we will see those huge wonderful boobs of hers again unless she gets implants


Tara "VD" Reid is surprisingly still alive


Frosty the Snowman is enjoying the warm weather of the Islands


Return of The Unnamed Segment also brings back favorites like the O FACE


and the SEE THRU


Yes that is Topanga


Boy Meets Camel Toe

Hot Bitch of the Day - Special Edition

This post should have been done in December along with every other “Best of 2005”, but thanks to Modblog sucking more ass then Clay Aiken and me being lazy, it took till mid February to finally get it finished. So here is your 2005 WWJ Hot Bitch of The Day All Stars.

10. Kelly Clarkson

The only American Idol winner worth a damn had a big year. You couldn’t get away from her songs and unlike that fucking Bananas song from Gwen Stefani, Kelly’s songs were actually decent. Kelly has lost a lot of the weight she had on American Idol and has moved out of the chubby girl you’d bang if you were drunk category and into the yeah Id hit that category. She is not the hottest and she still has some baby fat, but another year in the gym and some breast implants and you will be begging to knock the bottom out of it.
Best Feature – hazel eyes









9. Keeley Hazell

She is really higher on my list, but not many people here in the states know of this bombshell. Keeley is one of many big breasted girls that graces the pages of the UK’s FHM and Maxims. What makes her stand out besides her natural 32E is unlike the other hot girls the UK is pumping out she doesn’t look like a complete whore. You could take this girl home and your Mom would approve until your Dad gave her an extremely long hug.
Best Feature – her 32E personality








8. Jennifer Wilbanks AKA The Runaway Bride

Ok so she isn’t hot, she has those psycho peepers and the bitch is just plain crazy, but there are a couple things that land her on the list. She got a lot of money from her TV and book deals, has a decent fake rack and she likes to travel. Remember she made up the story about being forced into a threesome with a Mexican and a white girl. Now this means deep down she is a freak in the bed and would be willing to do anything. Maybe I am weird but the multicolor towel over her face is a turn on and also very handy. You’ll never have to worry about fumbling in the dark for a quick clean up again.
Best Feature – Towel covering her psycho peepers




Honorable mention goes to another news diva of 2005 Terri Schivao cause who doesnt love a loud moaner




7. Lois Griffin

One of the biggest comebacks of the year was that of Family Guy, so I have no choice but to include Lois Griffin in the list. She may be animated, but you can’t say you haven’t thought about it at least once. Granted her voice could kill an erection powered by a bottle of Viagra, but we know from the show that she is a complete freak and we here at WWJ admire that quality in a woman. Plus she is married to a fat man, which means she has low standards and would be easy to land. She is no Ariel or Jessica Rabbit but this red head MILF will make you want to eat some red carpet.
Best Feature – Low standards









6. Jessica Simpson

Her role as Daisy Duke helped make a whole new generation of adolescent boys achieve their first awkward moment. Despite being one of the worst songs of the year, the video for These Boots Were Made for Walkin actually made the song sound good. The once proud virgin transformed into one of Hollywood’s biggest sluts in 2005. Rumors of her divorce and her romps with the cast of Jackass dominated magazine covers for months. She is now single and out to make up for lost time by banging any D list star she comes across. I never thought I had a chance with Jessica Simpson until she started screwing WWJ look a like and Maroon 5 front man, Adam Levine. I can now die a happy man knowing that I had a chance to donkey punch Jessica Simpson.
Best Feature – Daisy Dukes

















5. Jennifer Anniston

Despite not doing anything worth remembering since the end of Friends, Jennifer is somehow still one of the top stars in Hollywood. She made headlines when Brad Pitt dumped her ass for Angelina Jolie and showed up on a million web sites when her unflattering topless sunbathing pictures made their second go round. She is on the rebound and has extremely low standards. This is evident from her new boyfriend insomniac Vince Vaughn. So why the hell did I even put her on the list and this high? The only reason was her headlights. Obviously the set of Friends was extremely cold as she was always running around with her high beams on. Ever since I first noticed her pokies I have been under their spell even after seeing the topless photos.
Best Feature – Always leaving her headlights on








4. Lisa from Team America

Lisa is the blonde bombshell that took a Dirty Sanchez in the years best sex scene. Sure she looks similar to a blow up doll and is only about a foot tall, but after a couple drinks I am sure it would be just like that midget I hooked up with in 98. Plus all the strings that make her move can easily be used to tie her up if you’re into that kind of thing.
Best Feature – Into Donkey Punching and Dirty Sanchez







3. Anne Hathaway

. Anne Hathaway the innocent looking actress from the Princess Diaries stepped away from her goody girl image to appear topless in not one but two movies last year. I got a copy of Havoc the day it came out, but even a topless Anne getting rear ended isn’t enough to lure me to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am just stoked I no longer have to steal my 6 year old cousins copy of The Princess Diaries to rub one off. Thank you Barbara Kopple for casting lil miss Anne in Havoc.
Best Feature - Inner Slut










2. Jessica Alba
The sexy Latina had one of the best years in Hollywood. Her and her bikini saved the horrid film Into The Blue from being a straight to the bargain bin DVD to a number one movie. Now that Into the Blue is on DVD I can finally give my copy of Honey a rest. She also recently became the front runner in the 2006 WWJ Cock Tease of the Year Award by appearing on the cover of Playboy, but not posing nude.
Best Feature – Da Budunkadunk






















1. Angelina Jolie
The husband stealing, world saving, foreign kid adopting temptress is the undisputed 2005 WWJ Hot Bitch of the Year. Besides having the best set of DSLs in Hollywood, Angelina also has the world’s most powerful vagina. She used it to lure Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Anniston. She is quite possible the most desired person in the world, as even the ladies want to get a hold of her according to some polls. Her vagina is so powerful that she could turn most gay man straight. So congrats to you and your powerful vagina Angelina. Hope you finally giving birth to your own kid doesn’t make it lose its power.
Best Feature – DSLs














THE END



As always send hate mail to jimmy@WorldsMostPowerfulVagina.com

Peace love and hair grease